Routine

I've noticed in the past week that my body is starting to get onto a schedule. I have an alarm set every morning at 7:30 am, and while this has been a standing alarm for the past year or so, my body is finally starting to adapt to it. Rather than hitting snooze and rolling over, I've started feeling more awake when the alarm goes off, and the few times that I've rolled over and wanted to go back to bed, my body won't let me. This morning I woke up four minutes before the alarm was set to go off. This used to happen back when I was in high school and had a set wake-up time every day, but the weekends would always throw everything off.

My mind is developing an evening routine as well, partially due to the fact that I have a standing order to produce a blog post daily and wish to do so before I go to bed, and partially because I've (surprise surprise) been able to keep my promise to myself that I'd accept the challenge and do just that, no matter how stupid or incoherent the post.

What's really weird, is that feeling my body and mind fall into a routine is one of the most freeing feelings I've had in a long time. For the past three years of adulthood, I've blundered along, making lots of mistakes and just barely learning from them. One of those mistakes, I found, was allowing myself to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. If I told myself I wanted to get up early to make breakfast, the next morning I would have no qualms hitting snooze 47 times then rolling out of bed and rushing to get to work on time. If I told myself that I would definitely be finishing a particular project by Friday, I had no problem letting the deadline past and deciding that since it was already too late, I might as well do something else.

Lazy-me didn't hold myself accountable to not-lazy-me. It was frustrating, because as months passed, seasons passed, and holidays passed, I realized that the project I'd thought about 8 months ago could be nearly complete if I'd started immediately and held myself accountable to my vision. Instead, I wasted my time away. I wasted three years away.

I feel like I've been asleep, or at least in a fog. It sounds stupid, but things seem to be finally falling into place for me.

I should beat lazy-me with a crow-bar.